Speedy Ninja Review (Android)

The drag and poke platform we know as the mobile gaming market has tried its slippery, scratch-filled fingers at just about every gaming genre to ever have existed; in the process, managing to create a new one: the runner genre.

Runners are a strange phenomenon in mobile gaming. It's basically like a platformer with no platforming, and the games often have your inevitable human dlc character in big-head mode run to the right automatically like a six-year old just ate all the Halloween candy and decided to train for the 20-meter dash in the Olympics.

Speedy Ninja is a game filled with a bazillion upgrade mechanics, four separate in-game currencies, a gambling system, two separate ranking systems, and weapons, for what is all basically just a run and dodge game, to fill out what would otherwise be a genre more boring than children's educational software on the Macintosh back in 1992. most of the things you buy using the in-game currency ultimately serve two purposes: upgrading wepons, and buying other wepons.

That's the weird part about this game; you don't actually "use" any of the weapons, in the traditional sense. If you have a sword equipped, for example, there is no button you press in order to kill an enemy. "Weapons" in this game are just an invincibility mode with a time limit. you collect coins in order to use it, then the time runs out, and you're fucked until you can collect enough coins again. You can upgrade the shit out of your weapons in order to make them last longer, but that's the extent of it.

I may not have come across every Android game title yet, but I have yet to see a 2D game that ever even came close to looking this good. I sometimes go to coffee shops for no reason, just to show off the capabilities of my off-brand Digiland tablet like the hipster douche that I am.

Adding MMO elements to one of the plainest genres of all time was just the right decision when it comes to a game like this. It was such a good idea, that I spend more time trying to upgrade my shit than actually playing the game. That coupled with the graphics, and the fact that the game doesn't lock most of its features behind a ridiculous pay-wall makes it one of the best android games out there.


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