TRANSFORMERS: Beast Wars Review (Playstation)

This review was originally written back in 2005.

Beast Wars, as a television show is by far my favorite animated show of all time. It had the kind of depth you would only expect from shows like Gundam Seed or Star Trek, while maintaining some nice looking graphics. I am probably the biggest fan of the Beast Wars series there is, so you could imagine my excitement when I discovered that a beast wars videogame actually existed. (Long before I discovered it.) I assumed since this show had great graphics, great sound, great voice acting, (Done by some of the best voice actors in the business,) and great storyline, that same success would be mirrored by a videogame on the PSX, however the results are F&*&^$#ing devastating.

STORY:

The premise of the story is exactly the same as the series. The only difference is the completely different story-line in the game, and the apparent lack of Rattrap. (How the F&**@ are you going to have a beast wars game without the ONLY demolitions expert in the show?) While you're playing, you'll notice that absolutely nothing about the levels has any relevance to the actual show under any circumstances whatsoever, which could have been a good thing if the gameplay didn't suck so bad.

GAMEPLAY:

As far as the gameplay is concerned, it's fucking terrible. You have weapons in robot mode such as guns, missiles, and like, more guns n' stuff, however, instead of aiming and shooting, this game supports an automatic lock-on feature, that well, automatically targets the enemy, which would have been good accept for one thing: IT SUCKS!! This game has an auto-targeting system that will either target the WRONG enemy, move away from the RIGHT enemy, or will always target too late. IT DOESN'T MATTER how fast you are with shooting, you will always get shot first, every single time. Why? Because by the time your character is in range to auto-target, you have already been shot like 3 times, and will ultimately be the cause of your death! You can turn auto-targeting off of course, but does that mean you can target manually? NoooOOOo!! You have to sort-of aim your character at whatever is directly in front of you in a straight line, hoping you'll shoot something, and hope to GOD in heaven you don't have to aim up or down because that option simply DOESN'T EXIST!! (Not to mention that once the auto-targeting is turned “off,” there simply is no targeting PERIOD! You have no targeting reticule on the screen at all, which means that there is no point in having any kind of gun at all!!)

By the way, there is a limit to how long you can stay in robot mode. Apparently, (Just like the show,) if you are nakedly exposed to energon to long, you can end up suffering from its radiation. Luckily for you, you have a beast mode that can protect you from it allowing you to recover while you're in it. You cannot use weapons in this mode, which means that the only attack you have is this ultra, retarded JUMP that rarely ever hits anything. (That's right! Neither the T-rex “Megatron,” nor the Velociraptor “Dinobot” were capable of biting anything, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.)

You have a map in the lower right corner of the screen, which right off the bat doesn't EVER give you the slightest hint as to where you are supposed to be going. You will easily get lost in this place.

GRAPHICS

Forgive me for being a little BIASED, but I assumed that since this was a Playstation game, and that Beast Wars was a 3D based animated TV show, that the graphics were going to be at the very least, GOOD, if not better than this. I will admit though, they aren't that horrible, and the cheap generic looking “Terrain” wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the TRANSFORMATIONS THEMSELVES. The transitions from robot mode to beast mode are what (again) remind me that this game is still on PLAYSTATION! It's the kind of transformations you'd expect to find respectively on shows like Beast Machines, where the beast mode kind of shrinks inside while the robot mode kind of “oozes” out. Other than that, the graphics are what you would call “Serviceable.”

SOUND:

If I am going to mention ANYTHING about the sound, the first thing I'm going to point out is the pitiful excuse for VOICE ACTING, because it's the first thing you are going to hear once the game starts. It's just plain terrible. They cannot act worth a monkey's @$$, and they all sound like they're being played by the same person methodically changing the tone of his voice to sound more like each one of the characters. (I'm just glad there weren't any females in the game.) HOW THE HELL do you go from the most recognizable voice actors in the history of animated TV shows, to THIS??

VERDICT:

I guess this is not surprising considering that most videogames based on animated TV shows suck anyway, but to me (being the big Beast Wars fan that I am,) this was an even bigger disappointment.

THE GOOD: Well, umm... It had transformers in it.

THE BAD: There is no Rattrap, The targeting sucks, the voice acting sucks, the strafing sucks, the MOVING sucks, robot mode sucks, beast mode sucks…